Why don’t I just write country songs? That can’t be too hard, right? *ha*
Enough of that silliness, in honesty I have been thinking about resuming my blogging because it used to go so far in keeping me sane. Now, I could use something to keep me awake. The fatigue I feel sucks much of the life out of me and shuts me off from doing the things I love, writing, karaoke, going to concerts, dancing, dating.
Oh yes, dating … I actually hate it but dammit a girl gets lonely now and then. “R” and I still talk daily or mostly daily but the conversation level has gone way down and in fact has become quite predictable and boring, like many relationships past their expiry date. I haven’t seen him in a year come Valentine’s Day, nor have I “gotten any” since that time. What’s with that?
Love, that’s what.
But love, this elusive and cruel thing, can only take you so far before you realize that it’s mythical. What’s more realistic but almost as hard to find is a true sense of intimacy with someone. Once you get past all the hurdles and climb all the ladders you have to with someone while dating to get to intimacy, then you have to wonder if it’s going to be worth it. Will they treat you with respect? Will they take the time to care for you, please you (and not just expect you to please them)? Will they wait if you need to wait and hold you when you just need a good snuggle? Or will they just expect their 3 pumps before they roll over and start thinking about work tomorrow?
So I’m single, not dating, not getting any and I’m constantly fatigued. I don’t have the energy for this dating jibba jabba nor do I even have much energy for any thing but work and some days, including work. When does my fairy Godmother bonk me over the head with fairy dust and a wand in order to cure my aching bones ‘n joints and cause Prince Charming-Enough to charge up in his Mustang to the land of Intimacy?
I’m diluded, clearly. And perhaps, I should be drinking. But baby “I love you”. *sigh*
Mirrored from "The Misadventures of Kimby".